It’s confession time here on the Harpy’s Nest, and the hot topic of today is… Guilty pleasures!
And no, I don’t mean chocolate. As much pleasurable as chocolate is, I don’t feel any guilt when having it. Specially the luscious-melt-in-your-mouth milk chocolate. It’s indulgence at its best. Sinful. Almost erotic due to the moans and expression of delight it causes. But never EVER guilt inducing.
I’m talking about those books I actually feel guilty of how much I enjoy reading them. Either due to mentality reasons… like admitting you actually like porn when society dictates you should think it’s gross… or because it’s embarrassing… like farting in the yoga class… or because it doesn’t meet standards, like gorging on fast food till your are so full you’ll throw up if you move, and you know that is not good food, but you love it anyway.
And since we’re talking about pleasures, it’s LIST TIME. I do love me some lists. And I feel no shame or guilt admitting it.
1) The Twilight series
I don’t know what guilts me the most. The way I trash-talk the books, calling it (with a snobbish tone) “that sample of sublime literary work”, that I disliked the first one so much, me thinking books #2 and #3 are oh-so-boring or the fact that I got so completely obsessed by book #4 that I re-read it/listening to it so many times I actually know each line, each pause, each breathing and each freaking intonation and emphasis. I still get back to the series once in a while. And just when I though it couldn’t be worse? We have the movies. That not only I set myself to watch EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. it shows on TV, I also want to buy them… desperately… *ashamed*
Me and my sister have this little addiction to identify two recurrent things during the whole Twilight movie. If we turn it into a drinking game, we’d be throwing up before the vampire baseball game. You don’t believe me? Fine. Follow instructions bellow choosing one of the options (or both if you’re feeling really hard-core):
- Prepare the vodka or tequila or a beverage of choice and shot glasses.
- Get Twilight the movie.
- Hit play.
- Drink a shot every time Edward shows a stalking behavior or stalkish reference
- Drink a shot every time Edward looks constipated/nauseous.
Which curiously enough is every time he smells Bella, is near her or talking about her feelings for her. Because nothing says I love you like having to plug your nose to avoid taking a whiff at you.
- Good luck!
2) The Fifty Shades series
What, you weren’t expecting it? Seriously? It started as a Twilight fan-fic, so OF COURSE it had to be part of this list. Although this particular one, is hard to swallow. Because there’s a LOT of things I have to say about it:
- It sells a completely dysfunctional and abusive relationship as romance. ROMANCE. Now, as much as I love books with alpha-male over the top with hard to define boundaries, Christian is an ass. The excuses used for his behavior don’t stick, and instead of a powerful dominant personality I end up looking at him like a petulant teenager that throws a tantrum every time things don’t go his way. And I refuse to call something romance when one of the participants is actually scared of the other. Because she CRINGES every time his mood changes. That is not healthy.
- The writing is poor. Sure, I don’t expect some erotic novel to be worthy of a Nobel – I actually stopped reading one, because the style was too Oxford English to me – but, I do expect editing, correct spelling, and grammar rules to be applied.
- The Subconscious and Inner Goddess. Oh my gosh. It started as funny, but quickly enough turned silly and annoying and… PLEASE STOP SOMEONE KILL ME NOW. Good thing their appearance diminish from book to book, because otherwise we needed to change the title to the Wanna Be Dominant Man-Child and the Multiple Personalities Chick.
- The unreality of the…. of everything, actually. From how much money he makes an hour, to her reactions, the secondary characters, not to mention the so called BDSM lifestyle.
- The Twilight/Fifty Shades analogies. Okay, it was originally fan-fic. But that was the first book, right? Right? Heck, there was even a Grey book like the intended and never published Midnight Sun. Let me guess… it was already written and they waited till the twilight 10th anniversary to publish it… isn’t it a bit too much?
That being said. I listened to the 3 in a row.
And I … enjoyed it.
Actually, I liked the “story” so much that I promptly proceed to read them in ebook format, to make sure I hadn’t lost anything due to the audio. Which make me think about what was I reading. By the time I reached the honeymoon, I was ready to set them on fire. And I still…read.. Grey when it came out… WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I also watched the movie. Twice.
What? Naked Jamie Dornan… enough reason. Which reminds me I need to watch the second one.
3)Mushy Romance and Angsty books
In real life, mushy romance makes me want to puke. In books? I ate it by spoonfuls. Seriously, things like managing to get invited to a family thing because you know it will be a hard time to your love-interest and you want to be there for support? Or the little cute nicknames and little gestures?
IT BRINGS JOY TO MY HEART.
And I love…love… love ANGSTY books. The ones that make you cry ugly tears mixed with snot while they rip your steel bleeding heart out of your chest and leave you a pitiful mess on the floor gasping for air and sometimes feel actual pain because of all the emotional meltdown.
I know, awful. How can I do that to myself.? And more important,why?
But at the same time, IT’S FREAKING AWESOME AND I. JUST. LOVE IT.
4)Uber possessive alpha males
You know the type, the dominant I know what is best for you and the you’re mine and I’m going to tie you to the bed for you to stay put and nobody gets to look at you type. And if they’re alpha werewolves/shapeshifters that go ape crazy with the need to claim? SHEER PERFECTION
5)M/M Smutty Romance
I did start this post by mentioning porn, right? I used to feel embarrassed by admitting I enjoyed M/M Romances. Better yet, that I liked to read some very hot, steamy & graphic novels about two (and sometimes three) hot guys going at each other. Now? I still don’t announce it to the Universe, but, I post reviews, and even mark the books on goodreads. I still feel a little uncomfortable, but I also think people should read what they enjoy reading. And if you add 3 + 4 + 5 in the same book, you’ll get a very Happy Harpy and that’s always a good thing.
The Harpie Wants To Know
Do you have embarrassing readings?
Any guilty pleasure you want to share?